He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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