did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
