She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
