I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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