standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
