so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
