Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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