I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
