I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
