it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize