dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
