Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
