he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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