Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
