Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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