Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
