Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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