The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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