Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
