You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
