you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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