He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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