do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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