that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im holly from the hills drunk
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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