no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
