...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
