Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
a search helicopter?!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
