We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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