Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
sex in a hospital.. check
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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