Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
