Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
