it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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