I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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