I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
