so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
