If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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