I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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