smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
