No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
