i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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