So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
