we're blogging at a bar
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
