Your mouth is God's brothel.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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