I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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