Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Randomize
