He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize