Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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