I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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