i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
