I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
