I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
