She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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