69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
