Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
