Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
