I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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