Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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