I want to make a zoo with you.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
