i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
