my shit smells like andre
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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