They should really pass out barf bags in church
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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