i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
