dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
